Happy Easter!

At the moment, no oceanography is happening. In the mild terms of one of our seafarers, there’s a bit of a blow on. Or as one of our technicians put it, “Who ordered the howling gale?” So it’s all very much like a holiday on board- or it would be if you spent your holidays sliding up and down the floor and flailing madly at every bit of furniture that you went past. Surprisingly no one has been to see me about sea sickness tablets recently. This may mean that they’re all hardened sea farers or that they’re lying in their bunks groaning quietly and collectively. I was reading the monthly reports of my predecessors and one included the graphic and memorable phrase “...I don’t want to have to clean chunks out of my surgery sink ever again...” so I have to conclude that perhaps it’s for the best if people don’t wend their way to the surgery when feeling a trifle delicate and simply call me and request a home visit instead.

So how have I been occupying myself when not ministering to the needs of the poorly and mopping their feverish brows? Well, I did have the fun of teaching one of our scientists and a technician about wound care. An orange had Grievous Bodily Harm inflicted on it and then we variously steristripped, glued and sutured wounds closed.  For purposes of verisimilitude a face was drawn on the fruit with marker pen; he looked very jaunty. Sadly I may have destroyed our technician’s dreams of doing a Rambo and cauterising his own wound with gunpowder and then stitching it closed. I pointed out that this would probably hurt a lot and anyway it didn’t sound very sterile to ME. I then pontificated that “irrigation is the solution to pollution” before slashing the orange again and ripping away a bit of peel to create a more authentic wound. I may have slight anger issues. Our orange was then dubbed the “Franken-fruit.” Once we finished with him we deposited him back in the fruit bowl- complete with sutures still in situ. Unaccountably, no one seems to want to eat him...

Soundtrack suggestions... The first cut is the deepest?

The FrankenFruit!

I’m also completing the indent. Never fear, faint hearts, it is PRECISELY as dull as it sounds! I’m also not entirely certain that I’m doing it correctly. My duty this month, you see, is to order all the stuff that we need for the next year or so. Now we have a lot of stuff on board that is very much there as a “break glass in case of emergency” kind of thing. So quite often things need to be reordered simply because they’re out of date rather than because we’ve run out. Whilst it might seem excessive to keep re-ordering really arcane bits of medical equipment or drugs, I really, really wouldn’t want to be in the situation where they’re needed and not there.

In an exceptionally nerdy sort of way, I’m actually enjoying the work. It’s not exactly taxing- but my drugs cupboard looks so much sleeker and tidier now that I’ve got rid of some of the ballast! I’ve gone for the drugs cupboard first because most of the stuff is in drawers so if the ship moves a bit briskly I can slam the drawer shut. I have a horrible mental image of being crushed beneath a hundred-weight of life saving medical equipment and my bosses calling my next of kin to say that I was killed by sledge-hammer irony.

So I’ve had my laptop in the drug cupboard with me, playing Billy Joel and the Boss as loud as I can and singing oh-so tunefully to myself. No one has complained just yet, although I have noticed a sharp increase in the amount of beer consumed on board...

In terms of how else I’ve been amusing myself, I’ve been knitting a cardigan like mad for my other half. Apparently I have an extraordinary capacity to mess things up. I’ve had to rip it down and re-knit it so many times. By the time he gets it, I’ll actually have knitted it twice. I also keep looking at online fabric shops and lusting after their wares. I’ve been strong so far and not caved but I want crepe, I want silk! It’s not the clothing-in-potentia that I’m buying, you see. It’s just like a lottery ticket. I’m buying the hope that I will make something gorgeous and one-of-a-kind and then shrug and laugh and tell people, “Hah, oh it’s just something I made!” whilst feeling horrifically smug inside.

What this? Oh it's just something I made! Back and left front of the cardigan. He will LIKE IT!

And on that slightly bizarre note, Happy Easter! I trust you will all have a joyously chocolate-fuelled couple of days!

Possibly not the right kind of Easter chick...but I did try!